This is normal and healthy, up to a point. But it's by hitting your head against a wall that you learn to stop being a fool, right? Not always.
There are situations that we've all been through at some point, where being rejected, told off, and persisting in error is just the first step in a long and dreadful process of self-destruction. That's when we become "cabbages." But, fortunately, there's another side to the coin :) when we're on top, we create "cabbages." We are the "waterers." Didn't understand? Easy to explain.
In any imbalanced love relationship, we have cabbages and we get «cabbaged».
The cabbage is that person who hooked up with you a few times and, poor thing, made the mistake of liking you more than you like them. The problem is that you keep making out with the person, escalate the level of naughtiness a bit, the making out heats up, and suddenly you realize that, despite enjoying yourself immensely, there's a human being on the other side, with feelings, emotions, and who, damn it, is madly in love with you. And that's where the danger lies. Your "cabbage" (like the actual vegetable) will never grow, but it's good for your ego to have them there, always at the ready. That's when the poor cabbage gets screwed. The cabbage has two typical characteristics:
1) They are always available for whenever and wherever the «waterer», the "bad" guy, wants. Like, you drunkenly call the sympathetic leafy vegetable's phone at 2 AM on a Friday and ask: "Were you sleeping or doing something? Come over so we can watch a movie and eat pizza?". The cabbage doesn't hesitate and, forgetting the world around them, replies while still yawning: "I wasn't sleeping, actually, I was really wanting to go out. I'll be there soon!". And then, the cabbage screws up the whole night and wakes up with a feeling of moral hangover the next day. They feel like a piece of shit, used, manipulated. But none of that matters. At this point in the game, the poor thing is already covered in leaves up to their neck. They won't be able to get out of this condition anytime soon. A week later, the cabbage will be doing the same thing, making the same mistakes. Always at the ready!!!
2) The cabbage maintains the illusion that they will one day be elevated to the status of the main course in the waterer's meal. This is a fact. It's a pathetic situation because the cabbage doesn't forget that, as soon as they start gaining momentum, the "waterer" will stop watering them and discard them. And this minimal hope, however, is the driving force that puts the poor little cabbage back to item 1: they are always available.
The worst part of all this is that, even knowing this sad fate of the cabbages, we all commit or will commit the mistake of «watering» and being «watered» many times in life. It remains to know how to end the story before it rots. And look for another garden to live in.
